Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
