Screwed.edu
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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