Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
