I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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