You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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