what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
