Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
