between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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