I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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