What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
