no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
honey bunches of taint.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
