It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
