that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
