I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Are we still banned from the library?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I use my feet as sexual weapons
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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