Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
