you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
