ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
The feeling are messing with the penis
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
