If i could tip my vagina, i would.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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