youre lurking in front of me
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
