im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
and she was petting her beer can
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
