This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
