i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I skipped work to stalk him.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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