I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
