For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
