I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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