Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
