Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
