Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
