Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
