I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
