as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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