WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
