just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
