I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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