Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I don't deserve a penis
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
