I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
