Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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