oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
