You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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