evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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