im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
