Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
