Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Randomize
