I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I have feelings that need drinking.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
