how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
