that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
