I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
