idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
