Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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