The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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